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Bella DePaulo, Ph. Of these three kinds of loners, only one is worth striving for. Happy fourth birthday to the community of people embracing single life. Once again, the claim that marriage is greedy has people riled up. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Who Cares About Quantum Computing? A Different Kind of Identity. The nofilter Lie. Bella DePaulo Ph. Follow me on Twitter.

Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Get a dog and walk it. Have your car break down at strategic places. Take care of your car so it never breaks down. Attend night school — take courses men like. Attend night school only if you want to. Take the courses you like.

Join a hiking club.

Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers. Take up golf and go to different golf courses. Take several short vacations at different places rather than one long one at one place. Sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons. Take a bicycle trip through Europe.


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Get a job in a medical, dental or law school. Become a doctor, dentist, or lawyer. Be nice to everybody — they may have an eligible brother or son. Be nice to everybody. Get a government job overseas. Volunteer for jury duty. Be friendly to ugly men — handsome is as handsome does. Be friendly to people.

Tell your friends that you are interested in getting married. Get lost at football games. Run a company.

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Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sporting goods store. Go to all reunions of your high school or college class. There may be widowers there. Get a part-time job in a convention bureau. Change apartments from time to time. When traveling, stay at small hotels where it is easier to meet strangers. Learn to paint. Set up easel outside engineering school. If you like to paint, set up your easel where no one will bother you.

Forget discretion every once in a while and call him up. Carry a hatbox. Wear a Band-Aid. People always ask what happened. Make a lot of money. Walk up to him and tell him you need some advice. Dropping the handkerchief still works.

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Drop your handkerchief and walk away. Handkerchiefs are gross. Use tissues. Have your father buy some theater tickets that have to be got rid of. Buy a convertible. Men like to ride in them. Eat them. Laugh at his jokes. If a man is smelling you to demonstrate his authority, call the cops!

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Practice your drinking with your women friends first. If you dye your hair, pick a shade and stick to it. Unless he happens to be shorter than you are! Talk to someone who is less needy and insecure. Take good care of your health. If you look good in sweaters, wear one on every third date.

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Dress differently from the other girls in the office. Be the woman who runs the office. Wear whatever you want.

Get a sunburn. Get a clue! Watch your vocabulary. When you are with him, order your steak rare. European women use their eyes to good advantage.

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Practice in front of a mirror. Buy a full-length mirror and take a good look before you go to greet him. Change the shade of your stockings and be sure to keep the seams straight! Skip the stockings. Even without the seams, who wants to encase their legs in nylon? Get that fresh-scrubbed look by scrubbing! If he has bought you any trinket or accessory, wear it. Polish up on making introductions; learn to do them gracefully.

Stick to your moral standards. Women who have their own vines are mighty fine!

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